A blah title but I couldn't come up with something better for this week full of emotions.
Sunday- Move In Day! Lacey went back to college. I probably do not need to say anything more! I tried really hard to be good! Lacey and I went to lunch and then sat in the car for at least 15 minutes afraid to say anything because we both knew we were going to cry. Last year Lacey was eager to start her new adventure, this year she was ready and excited but she knew what leaving home meant this time around. We were choking back words and tears and really couldn't look at each other. We gave in and teared up. We both had big tears rolling down our cheeks. I know she's ok and happy and where she needs to be, studying what she wants to do (for now), she has exciting goals, I can't be sad about any of that, but I miss my girl so much. My heart is incomplete without her around! I'm used to her sitting 2 feet away from me and making me laugh pretty much non stop!
Monday- It was really hard to get back in the swing of things. The house felt quiet and empty. I was waiting on Zane to get home from work when my phone dinged with a notice saying Robin Williams had died. Now I'm not the big celebrity type, but Robin Williams career spanned from my childhood on. Mork & Mindy was one of my favorite shows. I was sad to learn of his passing. The news started reporting suicide. A lot of people were very quick to share their opinions, to judge, to say things that some have no clue what they were talking about. I hope those people never have to learn about suicide first hand. It was a punch and a kick, leaving me mad and wanting to fight, sad and wanting to scream!
Tuesday- My dad had surgery! It was the first time I've been in the temporary Mercy Hospital. They have done a great job and everyone was so friendly and helpful. We were worried about him having had pnuemonia this winter and having anesthesia now. The surgery waiting area is in a long hallway. Although it's in the open there are plenty of chairs and other seating. Zane and saw my dad and then went out there to sit. We tried to get in a quiet corner because Mom was nervous. Here comes a family of 3 very loud, very obnoxious adults. There were lots of chairs around. But no they sat right around Zane and I. I mean in the next seat and right in front and on the bench. The one on the bench was talking on her phone, very loud, to a small child. That meant a million small sentences over and over for at least 20 minutes. My nerves were on edge and mom came out and handled it for about 1 minute. We moved to another smaller section of chairs. We only had 5 chairs in our section. As soon as we moved, she hung up the phone and they left! About 2 hours later Zane left for work and they had called mom back to recovery. They waiting area No sooner had she left than these 3 obnoxious people came back and sat themselves in my section. They were even more in my space and louder! Just when I was ready to grab our things and move down the hall, mom came out and we went to lunch! My annoyance level was HIGH! Oh yeah! My dad came out of surgery and anesthesia with flying colors! So I was annoyed, relieved and thankful!
Wednesday- There wasn't much on Wednesday except my youth group kids. It never fails when I'm feeling down and not amounting to anything, my kids seem to cheer me up and make me laugh!
Thursday- I Hate being the bad guy. I really do! I had to deliver bad news to one of our older boys in Haiti. We did not hold up to his promise if we helped him go to college. He flubbed it off and has acted very ungrateful. He did not have nice things to say. I know this is his fault and tough love needs to be used, but it's hard. Thursday night left me hurt, discouraged and frustrated.
Friday-Tonight I sit here reflecting on the week and all the mixed emotions. It's been quiet. Lacey has been swamped with sorority stuff. I have gone from constant chatter to 3-4 texts a day. Zane has been at work every night. I think it's a night to unwind, to not think of anything. I thank my God for keeping me sane, for loving me and having a plan for my life.
Now that Lacey is off at college, I find myself with way too much time to think. For me, thinking leads to worrying and worrying leads to worst case scenario. So I thought maybe blogging and putting some of my thoughts down might help myself. You never know, at some point I might come up with a clever thought or idea in the process!