At least that is how it feels! The last 6 months have been crazy, painful, lost...
As you can see my last post was on August 23. I feel as if my world stopped that day, yet feel it has been crammed full of ... blech!
I've had plenty of time to think, to blog, to read, yet I feel like I've stared at walls for months!
On August 23, we drove to Springfield to pick up Lacey for her birthday! We drove to Branson for dinner at Joe's Crab Shack, then rushed back to Springfield. Lacey had a meeting and we were supposed to pick up our new grand kitty! We were late and plans had to change. We were going to stay at Lacey's apartment until after her meeting and to pick up the itten. Zane went downtown to get something and I attempted to go down the stairs by myself! That didn't work out so well!!! I can't tell you what happened, it doesn't matter the result was me falling down the stairs! I fall into the landing wall, busted my glasses, my face and my arms, my legs were twisted and my back hurt. Zane was under the steps at the time and came rushing up. Not realizing that I was really hurt, we got me up and started down the other flight of stairs. Only I couldn't really stand. I was immediately nauseated when I stood. Zane encouraged me to keep going, after all I was probably only sore and had a twisted ankle.
We picked Lacey up from her meeting and went to pick up the kitten. I was hurting, every inch of me! I couldn't move. Zane bought medicine, sprayed my ankle and bank with pain relief. I could feel it swelling and throbbing. But then there was our new little kitten, Luna. She was a big cry baby, that offered some distraction but it also brought an annoyance that I wasn't sure I wanted for the hour drive home. As soon as we dropped Lacey off and started home, Luna stopped crying and curled up under my neck. She purred loudly and has stayed there ever since! Luna is my constant companion.
When we arrived home, I knew I was in for it. My ankle was huge. It took us 20-30 minutes to get me in the house. The next morning was worse. I had x-rays, my ankle was broken! Surgery was the only option because the tendons were stretched and needed to be screwed down. After surgery I was ABSOLUTELY NO weight bearing for 8 weeks. I had a knee scooter and I moved from bed to recliner each day. If absolutely necessary I would leave the house. That was a chore so I didn't leave very often.
After healing, I went in for my final check up, still having a lot of pain and trouble walking. Upon a closer look, the doctor discovered one of my screws was unscrewing itself. It had to come out! Right then, in his office, without anesthesia! NOT FUN! back to bed to tel that heat!
I recover from that and start working on strengthening my ankle only to come down with the worst sinus infection in my life. Back to bed...
I was better for about 2 weeks, when I felt a weird spot on my back. It grew bigger, became hotter and painful. Back to the Doctor. This time it's a spider bite. Back to bed... My back has been cut open in two places in order to drain. There is a gauze rope in between the two openings that has to be moved twice a day. That's where I'm at today. At least it is getting better, in the beginning it was only spreading and getting worse!
I have cried, been at peace, screamed, fru,strated, and had a few complete melt downs, but I've also learned and have grown.
1. I thought about Lacey and her broken ankle and how she was on her own. My respect grew for her tremendously. I am in awe of how she took her limitations and pushed forward and never once did she complain.
2. My husband can be a saint. Not always, but I know the last few months have worn on him too. I'm not sure what I would have done without him!
3. I will always be my parents child no matter how old I am. And my appreciation for them grows daily.
4. It's ok to ask for help! It's not my favorite thing but some times it is the only thing we can do!
5. God some times send us people or pets at just the moment we need them most. Luna is one spoiled kitty and doesn't like for me to be away from her for very long! She watches out for me and makes sure no one is hurting her mama. Not to mention other friendships that have grown stronger thru all this.
6. God is always in control! At times that is very easy to lose sight of, especially when things are looking down and not going the way you think they should!
7. After months of feeling horrible, I'm finally, in the last two days, gaining back energy and strength and with a new problem, my ankle is hurting less!!! I feel like I am breathing again!
Now that Lacey is off at college, I find myself with way too much time to think. For me, thinking leads to worrying and worrying leads to worst case scenario. So I thought maybe blogging and putting some of my thoughts down might help myself. You never know, at some point I might come up with a clever thought or idea in the process!