From pregnancy until now Lacey and I have been attached. It was rare that we were separated. People would always tell me I was doing her harm by letting her be so attached. As a side note, they were wrong! That child is fiercely independent! We have a bond that has been created from not only being mother & daughter, but also shared experiences and memories and having to completely rely on each other at times. It is a strong bond. She is my best friend, she is my heart!
That dreaded day in August 2013 came when Lacey moved to Springfield, Mo to attend Missouri State University. That first day I was honestly ok, I knew I'd be back up there the next day! That next day was rough. I was leaving my baby in the big, some times bad, world. She had tears in her eyes as we left each other. Watching her walk off was one of the hardest things I had to do! Part of my heart walked away with her that day.
There are still tears and a giant empty feeling when we say bye. I know I'm lucky because Lacey is only an hour away and we try to see each other once a week. But I miss her laughter, her goofiness. I miss my partner in crime. I miss her hectic schedule. I can hear her run thru the door and yell "Hi Mama! I love you" as she's running back out the door to one of her many activities. I miss her presence. I miss her constant joy. I miss her rolling those big brown eyes at me. I miss her Lacey-isms. I miss her bubbly self. I miss the pieces of my heart that she keeps with her every time we say goodbye! .
In case you are wondering, I saw Lacey last night! For now I'm convinced that NO it does not get any easier. It becomes different, but not any easier!
Now that Lacey is off at college, I find myself with way too much time to think. For me, thinking leads to worrying and worrying leads to worst case scenario. So I thought maybe blogging and putting some of my thoughts down might help myself. You never know, at some point I might come up with a clever thought or idea in the process!